nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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