yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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