life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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