i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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