got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize