We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize