I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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