I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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