Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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