He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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