Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize