ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
