so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
