How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
