But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm too high and old for this...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
