Walk of Shame. In a state park.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
