No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
