Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
