There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
