jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I forgot how hot balto sounded
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
