nut hugger
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
