dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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