No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
