when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
