i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize