the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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