why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
