420 ftw
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
