He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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