do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
