fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
