i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize