I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
