What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
