I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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