Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
