We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
