After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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