Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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