id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
