he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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