Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Enjoy the penises
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize