marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Can Purell be used as lube?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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