I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
