omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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