i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Terrible idea I love it
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
