Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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