I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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