i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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