Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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