ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
