you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
