Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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