Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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