I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
