Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dear god my vagina.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
