so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
