i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
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