I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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