Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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