to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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