we're blogging at a bar
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
