She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
