so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
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