I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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