Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
