hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I will pee on everything he values.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.