Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
areolas are like halos for boobs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.