I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
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"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
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The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm determined to sit on that face.