So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
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In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm gonna fight the coyote